he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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