I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
