Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
