I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize