Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
