I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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