so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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