I got chris browned last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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