Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I skipped work to stalk him.
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I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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