Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
