Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it because I queefed?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
