if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize