i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
