It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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