I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
