The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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