so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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