so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
