My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize