I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
