Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
