You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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