And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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