thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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