its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.