i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
