id be glad to
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
