...so i touched it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?