Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore

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  (339): That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore http://tfl.nu/dkgm
  Replies (1) Good night (1921) Bad night (728)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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  (513): I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass http://tfl.nu/na0v
  Replies (16) Good night (2345) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

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  (914): We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream. (1-914): Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award http://tfl.nu/nl5u
  Replies (7) Good night (4359) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
  Replies (42) Good night (989) Bad night (6391)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  safety first

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  (763): she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle (612): safety first http://tfl.nu/lbuo
  Replies (32) Good night (5445) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
  Replies (16) Good night (769) Bad night (5259)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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  (225): If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/axif
  Replies (7) Good night (1125) Bad night (2746)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.

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  (406): It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house. http://tfl.nu/r4z4
  Replies (5) Good night (2539) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.

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  (613): Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this. http://tfl.nu/j53e
  Replies (6) Good night (1323) Bad night (2169)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry

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  (210): well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry http://tfl.nu/jusc
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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  (248): She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use. http://tfl.nu/2c8i
  Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka

  (1-805): View more from California

  Sweet. Did I win?

  (805): View more from California

  Youre hungover arent you?

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  (805): So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka (1-805): Sweet. Did I win? (805): Youre hungover arent you? http://tfl.nu/l89i
  Replies (4) Good night (2811) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing

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  (228): He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/dsmd
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  JESUS

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  (919): you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered. (1-919): JESUS http://tfl.nu/td1m
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?

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  (315): Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot? http://tfl.nu/v4u6
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (208)

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