Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.

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(951): View more from California

I didn't know people actually cried after sex.

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(602): View more from Arizona

for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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(420): View more from

The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.

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(406): View more from Montana

And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.

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(440): View more from Ohio

You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.

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