so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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