I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
