champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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