I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
