my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
