I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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