super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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