I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize