I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
