Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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