oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
