My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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