my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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