dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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