this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
