You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize