You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
