my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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