so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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