i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
