he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
