I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
