no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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