can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
