i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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