She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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