Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't put those talents on a resume
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
