He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We don't watch enough power rangers
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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