Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i don't like sucking hair
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
