her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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