dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
