It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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