After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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