There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
