and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
