I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
