I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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