foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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