Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
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