Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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