Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
