I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
