I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
