I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
